The earnest importance of memorialization
As a funeral director, I regularly hear families that have lost a loved one say ,”We wont be having a funeral or memorial service in keeping with the wishes of (Blank) because they did not want one”. Who would make a declaration such as this? Who would deprive their family the ability to grieve and to celebrate the life of their loved one? I believe that every life if unique and worth remembering and celebrating. As a funeral director I try each day to encourage the families I serve to have that memorial service or that funeral service to pay reverence to the one they lost.
To me this idea of not having a service sounds preposterous! Would you not hold a shower for a woman expecting a child? Would you not have cake at a birthday party? Nor hide eggs on Easter or receive presents on Christmas?
Memorials and funerals are for the living. It comforts the ones left behind and allows them closure and the ability to carry on. Despite my encouragement to them to have a service, when I have families that are adamant about not having “formal services” I tell them to at least take the time as a family to do something in honor of the deceased. Take time to grieve the loss as a family.
You see, remembering and memorializing through funeral or memorial services is THE time for friends and family to come together in solemn remembrance of a loved one, a friend, a family member. We pause and remember that person and how they have touched our lives. It allows us to remember who that person was to us and to the group as a whole . We acknowledge that that person, who was a special individual, is gone forever and that we will all need support to mend the hole left in our hearts. We, as human beings, need to pause and recognize the loss for what it is. We need to celebrate the life of the person we will miss. Not having the ability to do this through a service deprives family and friends of a chance to grieve and accept the loss.
